Baltimore's Team, and Baltimore's Band (in 1988)

This hat is older than the band.

#31 Kix: Blow My Fuse


The Orioles have won 81 games. Eighty-one. Do you know what that means? If you're a baseball fan you know what it means. It means that the Orioles will have their first winning season since 1997. Well that's assuming they get one more win, but that shouldn't be too hard with 20 some games left. Right? Yeah they'll make it, GO O's! The O's may seem like they've had the hardest time of anyone in all of Baltimore, but I assure you, there is another group that has had just as many hard times. Kix, the darling of Maryland 80's metal, had their last album in 1995. Two whole years before the Orioles last winning season, the boys in Kix got their last creative gasp out on CD. Kind of ashamed the way it played out for them. The tornado that was grunge came in and pretty much wiped the floor with bands like Kix. Had they launched in 1992, could they been produced in a different way? If they Alice in Chains style production, would their music have been huge to this day? If today's album "Blow My Fuse," was produced by say, Steve Albini and Butch Vig, would it have sold 30 million copies? Well, probably not, but as Ian Faith, of Spinal Tap fame, once said, they're not fading, their audience is just getting more...'selective.' Interestingly enough, Kix is still out there playing shows. After reforming in 2003, the band has been able to find shows all around America. The lineup is almost the same as back in the day, and the fans still love the songs, so like the Orioles, Kix has its own winning season going. Its nice to see an aging band that knows what people want, just play the hits! As long as they don't put out an album called 'Shark Sandwich,' I think these guys will forever have a slot on the smaller stages of America, they put on one hell of a show!

The album starts with REVERB. Well, actually its drums, but holy crap, that's a lot of reverb. "Red Light, Green Light, TNT" continues as the guitar kicks in and, well, you kind of know the basic format if you've heard any standard 80's hard rock. The lyrics really don't have much to say, Steve Whiteman has a pretty good voice for this kinda music, but don't expect him to say anything profound. The guitar soloing isn't too bad in the song. Kix's two axemen, Ronnie Younkins and Brian Forsythe were both fans of the Les Paul/Marshall combo, which is admirable considering most guys in the 80's were playing some ridiculous neon green/pink/purple Jackson or Charvel. Along with guitar you also get a little of Whiteman's harmonica soloing. Interestingly enough, there are a few 80's metal bands that stuck to the blues rock dynamic a little stronger than the others. They show a little more Led Zeppelin influence than others. Again, with the right production, this COULD be music for another generation. Next up is "Get it While Its Hot," which follows right where the last track left off. Well I guess its a little different, they use a cowbell, that's something, right? Again, the guitar playing is solid, it avoids the 80's pitfalls of relying on lame tapping and whammy bar tricks, and does well at playing the old pentatonic blues scales to a T. "No Ring Around Rosie" is yet another brainless pile of reverb and Marshall driven power-chords. This one seems to be about a woman with loose morals, oh, how original. Oh OK, I get it, now we're playing off Ring Around the Rosie...yeah there it is, 'we all fall down.' This is clever for someone who spends most of their life and money trying to get their primer gray '87 IROC Z Camaro painted one solid color. Next up is, hey wait a minute, what's going on here. Oh yeah, there it is, its ballad time!  "Don't Close Your Eyes," is a song that actually has a little more meat on its bones. Its no 16 oz New York Strip, more like a supreme taco worth of meat, but hey that ain't bad for a dirty band from Baltimore. The song is anti-suicide, with a message of be strong, hold on, don't give up. Not too bad, pretty good tune for them. The start of the song is VERY Motley Crue. Its basically a minor version of Home, Sweet, Home, but I like it. The chorus gets the heavy guitar back and a very well put together chord progression. You know, with the right production, (which means LESS REVERB) this could be a single today. Hell I'll admit it, great tune! For those who may have thought Kix was getting too intellectual for you with that last song, next up is "She Dropped Me the Bomb." It falls right back into standard 80's mode. Not too much to write about this one, solid guitar riffs, reverby drums, and of course some sound effects of bombs going off. So anyway, this song is still going. How long is this song?  3:45? That's gotta be an error, it sure feels like 8:45. Oh there we go, finally, here ends side one. FLIP!

Side two starts with a great crowd pleaser. "Cold Blood" is the one that really revs up the crowd. I can just see the old Hammerjacks pounding away with fists in the air. This song is pretty pedestrian when it starts, but wait for it, the chorus! That chorus is just pure frosting, remember that phrase, cause its coming back later. Its got great chords, its got great vocal harmony. They do this little trick where they skip to, WHOA...more explosions! Hell Yes! Anyway, the chords during the chorus. I'm not sure what's going on, I'm going to have to give it a run on the guitar later, but they use two leads, one straining out a couple high notes, one pounding out chords, a great combo! "Piece of Pie," is all about guitar. It starts with great riffs that run all around and just sticks with that formula throughout. Please, don't listen to the lyrics, you will actually get dumber hearing them. I'm fairly certain I lost about 5 IQ points exposing myself to this. Its probably not as sexual innuendo filled as I might think, but it sure comes off that way during a casual listen. The guitar doesn't use many tricks to achieve the fast riffs in this one, its just pickin' away at a nice rapid pace. The next track is "Boomerang," a nice little ditty that starts with strong harmonica playing, whatever that means. I really don't know what makes a solid heavy metal harmonica player. I know of John Popper and his insane 'too many notes' approach, but really I don't know how you earn style points on a heavy metal harmonica. The lyrics, you know the lyrics before it starts, but here's a few for your sampling: "Boom, boom, boom boom boom boom....boo boo boom...boom boom boom boo boomerang!" I'll give that a minute to sink in. Ok, now repeat, repeat, repeat, fade, and done. Next up, is the reason to buy a Les Paul and Marshall amp. "Blow My Fuse" starts with one of my favorite riffs in all of guitar-dome. Funny that it comes from a band I don't listen to that much. But just listen to it, playing low (frets 1-5) on the high strings (G, B, E). Some of you understand that, and know why its so boss to start a song that way. The chorus takes the same basic riff and drops its down to the low strings (E, A, D). The lyrics fit PERFECTLY, I gotta say this is one song that Kix knocked right out of the park, Orioles style. OK yes, the solo uses some tapping tricks and some other lame technique, but I give them a pass on that, cause just listen, IT WORKS. In fact, listen to it now... Blow My Fuse   The album concludes with "Dirty Boys," another 'par for the course' offering. This one comes in a little faster than some of the others, but uses most of the same techniques. The guitar is palm muted chords played really fast with the occasion full strum for effect. I guess they started the album this way, so might as well keep the bookends symmetrical.

Pure Frosting, before this was an album by the Presidents of the United State of America, this was a fantastic description of certain types of music, 80's metal being one of them. Cake is great, but getting a big chunk of frosting every now and then is pretty good. That frosting in popular music is what's called 'the hook.' Its what's pulls you into the song, it makes you want to hear more. Somewhere in the early 1980's, someone decided to take the hook of the music, and just make it the whole song. Yes, frosting is delicious, but most of us at some point in our lives learned that you don't eat a whole can of frosting in one sitting. The whole stylistic approach of 80's metal was one big overload and Kix did get a little of that. Its kind of lazy song writing, but I guess you can't blame them, they were just a product of their environment.

Strongest Song: Blow My Fuse, Don't Close Your Eyes
Weakest Song: The Frosting...about 5 or 6 songs
Song You Know: Blow My Fuse
Why You Might Hate It: You don't need a reason.
Buy It? No, you don't need it. I found it for $1 and couldn't say no. YouTube it for a flashback.